


Love and War

by casstayinmyass



Category: Ghost (Sweden Band)
Genre: Can't Get Hard, Can't Stop Cumming, Cunnilingus, Emergency Medical Technicians, F/M, Inappropriate Cum, Inappropriate Erections, Kissing, Multiple Orgasms, Mutual Masturbation, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Sexual Content, Sexual Humor, Vaginal Fingering, dick troubles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:01:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27363160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/casstayinmyass/pseuds/casstayinmyass
Summary: Terzo pranks Copia by giving him something that induces unstoppable, constant orgasms.Copia gets him back by giving him something that obliterates his sex drive.All's fair in love and war.
Relationships: Cardinal Copia/Reader, Papa Emeritus III/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 38





	1. Chapter 1

“I don’t know what could have brought this on,” Copia hisses in the car. You hold his hand as the ghoul drives as quickly as they can through traffic. You’re on your way to the ER to take care of a newfound, somewhat baffling problem Copia has developed.

“I’m sure it had nothing to do with the striptease I was giving you,” you smirk. Copia scoffs.

“I can handle a striptease without… ah,” he begins to exhale a flurry of pleasured rat noises, and tosses his head back against the seat. His neck muscles flex, and you watch his body convulse. Copia’s hands fly down to his crotch, and you see the wet patch there grow larger as he shivers through his 13th orgasm that night. “I can’t… stop,” he groans, shifting his hips in a gyration as he comes down from the high.

"How do you even have that much jizz in your balls?" you frown. Copia stares at you in deadpan, and you laugh. "Hey, you can't stop cumming, it's time to start asking the important questions here."

"Let's not, eh? Leave it to the doctors." You squeeze his hand tighter, trying to ignore how hot it is to watch him rock through periods of intense pleasure constantly.

“We’re almost there," you assure the Cardinal.

You arrive at the ER, and as you’re getting out of the car, Copia's junk grazes the car door. You wince, and sure enough, he stops, limbs wobbling as he's brought almost to his knees in another intense orgasm. You help him up as he gasps and writhes into you– his feverish state gets the two of you in right away.

"First name Cardinal, last name Copia?" the nurse mutters.

“First name Angelo, last name Copia,” you correct. He looks to Copia, who nods to him politely.

“Hell–oohhhh.” He squeezes your hand and covers his crotch again bashfully, rocking against the desk. You look down to see his cock immediately harden again. The nurse blinks at him, and looks back to his computer screen.

“I got a niece, likes your band."

"Ah. I suppose you want a signature?"

"Nah. My sister sent her away to bible camp. Issue, please?”

“He, uh…” you say softly. “He can’t stop…” You make a little explosion with your hand. "Boom."

“Can’t stop shitting himself?” the nurse asks boredly. “Common for men his age.”

“What?!” Copa blurts. "How old do you think I am, fucking 80? How dare you?!" You calm him down as he fretfully starts picking for greys in his mustache.

“Orgasming," you hiss. "He can’t stop literally orgasming in his pants, no warning, just--” Copia suddenly explodes into shivers and lets out rat-like whimpers. "That." The nurse raises his eyebrows.

“He hasn’t got a butt plug in or something you two have forgotten about?”

“Don’t you think I would have noticed I had something in my ass by now?” Copia groans. A few patients look over. The nurse nods.

“Take a seat.” An elderly lady is wheeled by the two of you.

“You’re a very handsome young man,” she tells Copia, then turns to you. “Lucky lady. Lucky fella, too.”

“Thanks,” you smile.

“Yes. It is kind of you to say,” Copia says, the end of his sentence cut off by a gasp. He lifts out of his seat slightly, and he lets out an embarrassingly loud moan before slapping a gloved hand over his mouth.

“I haven’t seen a man do that in front of me in 20 years,” the elderly lady grins, and gets wheeled past you two.

Copia sighs in misery. “You would think it would be more fun to cum all the time. Hell no, it is not.”

The doctor comes out finally 6 orgasms later, and by then, Copia’s pant legs are soaked, a wad of tissues stuffed down the front of his pants. The doctor raises her eyebrows at it, and Copia looks down at the massive stuffed bulge in his pants. “It is not what it looks like.”

“Right.” She sits down, looking over his drenched legs. “So, you can’t stop... peeing?”

"No!" you quickly correct, before Copia can get too ruffled. The doctor glances down at her chart.

"Ah, yes. Spontaneous continuous orgasms."

“That is right.” Copia looks bedraggled, lips swollen and hair mussed.

"Strange to see a man in his fifties so responsive to sexual stimulation," she frowned.

"You have no idea," you snort. You put a comforting hand on his thigh, and his eyes widen in alarm.

“N-no– not there–” Copia grips your hand, and the waves of another orgasm wash over him again as he grinds his hips down in ecstasy. You bite your lip, watching him closely as he arches his back and rides the seat like a porn star. Spurts of whatever miraculous amount of cum left in the poor man leak through his trousers as he tries to cover his modesty.

“Excuse me?” You both look over to the doctor. “What I think you have, Mr Cardinal--"

"It is Copia," Copia whines. "Cardinal is my title. Title! My name is--"

"--PGAD, aka Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder. It should go away, considering it’s a later onset in your life. Could it have been brought on by anything?”

The two of you get to thinking, and finally settle on something in your memory.

“Terzo offered to fetch your breakfast this morning,” you whisper. The two of you come to the conclusion that he tampered with the food.

Copia growls. “The _stronzo_ gets to do my laundry.”

“Or, we could punish him a different way,” you smirk, wheels already turning as you think of the worst possible revenge. The doctor takes this as her cue to leave.


	2. Chapter 2

Copia knew he had to get back at Papa somehow for what he did. After consulting you for advice, he knew exactly what the perfect revenge would be. He headed down to the commons where Primo Emeritus usually was this time of day-- he would probably have some knowledge on what herb he could use to do the opposite of what Terzo did to him, to make it so that he couldn't get it up for a while. This certainly would be devastating to the Third, however short a period of time it lasted.

Copia approached the room, but stopped at the entrance when he saw the Second instead. He began to back out; there was something that scared him about Secondo, though he didn't want to be rude. The Cardinal cringed when he heard the deep voice ring out from the man still turned away from him.

"You needn't scurry away like that, rat. What is it you need?" Copia swallowed, giving up and shuffling in.

"I was hoping to ask your older brother for--" The book Secondo was reading snapped shut in his hand.

"You may ask me instead." At Copia's terrified expression, Secondo's face softened. "There is no need to be afraid, Cardinale. I don't bite."

"Some Siblings would say different." The Second's eyebrow went up again.

"Mm. And would you sign a contract like they did to experience such a thing?" he murmured, getting intensely close. Copia's mustache twitched in fear, and Secondo smirked. "I thought not. Go on, Cardinale. Ask your question, hm?"

"Si. Well, I was wondering if you knew of something that puts a bit of a temporary stop to..." Copia made some awkward gestures around his crotch while The Second stared. "...Sexual arousal?"

"Why do you require this?" the other asked, amusement evident in his face. "Do you find yourself unable to relax?"

"No!" Copia blurted, even though, well, yes. "It is for somebody else."

"A prank."

"Si."

"Who?" Copia shifted, and at Secondo's raised eyebrow, he swallowed.

"Terzo." The Second eyed him for a second, before leading him out the door. "You are indulging this?" Copia asked.

"I may be a stickler for rules, but I do know how to have fun. I'm not above a good prank, especially enacted upon my brother." They walked down to a room under lock and key, and Secondo let them in. Potions and powders lined the walls, and Secondo gave him a tiny bag. "Saltpeter," he told Copia. "Put one teaspoon in his drink, no more, or you will render him considerably impotent." Secondo's mouth twitched up. "It would be humorous to take away my brother's primary source of pride and joy, but it would wrongfully obstruct him in his path to sinning in Lucifer's name, and may deny him the progeny our father craves so desperately for him to sire." Secondo flicked his wrist. "Go on, rat. Enjoy this for the both of us."

"You're not mad I am going to humiliate your brother?" Secondo patted the Cardinal on the shoulder.

"If I could see his face when this takes effect, I would cherish the memory til I died."

Copia slipped the powder into Terzo's drink at dinner when he wasn't looking. He was too busy flirting by the wall with a Sister of Sin, one who'd been vying for his affection for a week now. Satan knows the Third Emeritus is never one to turn down a willing admirer, so Copia deduced with glee that the prank would work tonight when he inevitably takes her to bed.

The powder dissolved quickly, and Terzo came to sit.

"Lovely, hm?" he sighed, nudging Copia. "Sister Juliette. I have invited her into my bed tonight."

"Of course you did."

Terzo huffed. "She said yes."

"Of course she did."

"Jealousy is not very becoming of you Cardinale," Terzo sniffed, reaching the wine glass up to his lips. "If I knew you were still so mad about the other day, I would have invited you too to relieve some stress."

Copia wanted to kindly remind Papa that he was in a loving relationship with you, but he refrained while the other man was on his power trip. He watched as Terzo took a generous sip, and smiled.

"I hope you enjoy your night, Papa."

In his bedroom, Juliette crawled backward on the bed, fiery orange hair sprawling out over Papa's purple satin pillows. Terzo stood before her, rid of his black jacket and shirt beneath. He knelt on the bed between her legs, unbuckling his pants and giving his cock a rub through them.

"You are beautiful, Sorella," Papa groaned, watching her squirm under his gaze. "I am going take you so thoroughly tonight, the church will be sleeping to the sound of your moans." His big talk and smile began to fade as he gave himself another rub. "Eh..." He chuckled. "Come, si? Give your Papa a kiss." He patted his lap, and once she crawled forward and straddled his lap with her legs wrapped around his back, he put his hand on the back of her head, deepening the kiss and grinding against her. Surely this would help things along. He was after all getting a little older, though nothing a little foreplay couldn't fix. It was probably normal! Juliette reached down to pull his pants down, and frowned when she looked. The Sister got off his lap, pouting.

"Don't you find me desirable, Papa?" Terzo glanced down, and saw his cock hanging pathetically limp. Not even the slight bit interested in the lovely Sister he was about to fuck!

"O-of course, bella mia! You are gorgeous, and I want you. This thing has other plans," he chuckled nervously. "This... this never happens. I swear!" Secondo's warnings of the joys of middle age haunted his brain, and he reached down to begin jerking himself. Putting on a smile to cover his worry, he reassured the Sister with a wink. "But a moment, si? Won't take long." Evidently, this was an empty promise. His cock wasn't responding to the touch at all-- he didn't even feel aroused in the slightest, though the beauty before him made him want to.

"Want me to...?" Juliette bit her lip, laying back. She spread her legs and trailed her hand down to rub between her legs at her source of pleasure. Papa watched, jaw agape, as the evidence of her arousal leaked down through her fingers and onto his bed. Fuck, he would normally be throbbing at the sight of something like this! He frantically jerked himself a couple more times in time with her rubs, but masturbation just wasn't doing the trick. Juliette opened her eyes when she heard him curse in frustration.

"You need me to do some fetish shit?" the redhead sighed, sitting up. "You into something specific, where you can't get it up unless you like, pee on my toothbrush or something?" Papa's cheeks went rosy under his paint.

"No, no. You are enough, cara." He leaned forward to lay her back down, reaching up to massage her breasts. Juliette's concern melted away with his touches, and Terzo attempted meanwhile to stimulate himself on the mattress, with her, anything. When he reached down to sneak a feel of himself however, he was still soft.

"Merda," he whispered. Juliette broke away from him, blinking.

"Still nothing?"

"I don't understand it!"

"Did you eat something funny?"

"No."

"Did you try a new medication?"

"No, I have taken the same one for years."

"What about if I blow you?" she proposed. "It's worth a shot, every guy loves that." She bowed down between his legs, and took him in her mouth. Her tongue swirled around his head, delving right into the slit, and he felt something like a spark of pleasure. Inhaling sharply, he encouraged her to do it again. Unfortunately, after 15 seconds of trying to chase that scrap of horny, the sensation only dulled to an annoying flicking of her tongue on what felt like dead nerves. She tried bobbing her head faster. Five minutes of vigorous sucking later, Terzo moaned.

"It's no use. It is like I am flapping a dead fish in your mouth." Juliette made a face, and popped off the notoriously valiant but presently drooping member of Terzo Emeritus. Not being able to get hard was leaving Terzo in a quickly declining mood of self pity and frustration, but he was never one to leave a lover wanting. He eased her down to the pillow again, pressing his lips to hers as he reached down to slide his middle finger into her. Juliette lifted her hips, inviting him in deeper. Papa stroked upward, making her moan into his shoulder.

"Tell me where it is good," he whispered. She nodded, and clung to him as he added a second finger and began pumping both in and out of her as he would his cock.

"Please. Three fingers, Papa?" Juliette pleaded, squeezing around him in need. Biting his lip, he obliged, stretching her wider than most would find comfortable. He groaned, wishing he could feel her warm cunt for himself by fucking her properly; but still, his cock remained disinterested.

"Keep going like that," she breathed, wrapping her arms around his back. "Just like that." He pumped and curved his fingers inside of her, feeling every wave of arousal she experienced through the light gush around his fingers every so often. It only made things easier for him, pumping a little bit quicker as he saw her begin to writhe.

"I'm close," she gasped. "I'm so close. Yes Papa... yes, right there." He curved his fingers, thrusting them in and fucking her with them without pause. He lowered his head into the nape of her neck, his breath hot on her shoulder as he listened to her labored moans and begging. He decided to quicken things by dipping down below, licking a stripe up her clit. She convulsed, and he did it again, swiping his tongue up and down in practiced method. Her fingernails dug into his back just right as he gave her bud a soft suckling.

"PAPA!" she squealed, and pushed her hips down as she came around his fingers. After thoroughly teasing and stroking her through her climax, he pulled out of Juliette, bringing his fingers up to face to get a whiff. Still nothing.

After getting Juliette off quickly with his fingers and tongue and giving her thanks for her efforts, she took the cue to leave. "I know," she whispered, "I won't breathe a word." With a curtsey, the beautiful creature he could have had wholly was gone. Papa rolled over, wallowing.

"Why, Satanas?" he griped into his pillow. "Why do you forsake the instrument I use to carry out your Will? Is lust not one of your most treasured Sins?" He let out a long groan, giving his hips one last rock into the mattress. Nothing.

"Cazzo," Terzo growled, and turned out his lamp. Maybe he could get a little in his dreams.

-

The next day, Copia noticed a very disgruntled looking Papa III walking toward him.

"Morning, Papa," he greeted cheerfully. "Hard night? No. I suppose it wasn't very hard at all, was it?" 

Terzo stopped in his tracks as Copia went whistling past him. With a scowl, he realized what must have happened.

Revenge was a dish best served cold, and cold his bed had been last night because of it. 


End file.
